The greatest cough medicine ever

So, I have a cold in Russia (so I have no news to report, I've been sleeping at home).  As if it's not scary enough having a cold in a foreign country where you can't read the labels on the medicine, my Russian mama Tanya decided I needed a home remedy.

I was coughing so badly today that I had tears running down my face, and simply couldn't stop.  I probably coughed for 45 minutes straight, which is a lot of coughing.  It was really miserable.  Finally Tanya had had enough and told Masha to call Grandma and ask for the recipe for the "medicine".

As Masha called, she started listing ingredients (milk, honey, onion) and my blood pressure began to rise.  Fortunately the milk-and-onion recipe is for a different malady that I plan to never ever have, but what I had was awful none the less.  However, it really worked, and I mean instantly.  It's some pretty amazing stuff.  Since I took it this morning, I've coughed maybe twice.  I just took it again a few minutes ago, and before I drift off to dreamland, here's the recipe.

Babushka's Secret Cough Syrup

2 Tbsp. honey
2 Tbsp. mineral water
1 Tbsp. red wine
1 Tbsp. "spirits" (stronger than vodka, so maybe rubbing alcohol?)
1 Tbsp. butter
1 Tbsp. fat (like bacon fat)
1 Tsp. baking soda

Heat the fat over the stove in a little sauce pan, then add the honey and butter and stir.  Add the wine and vodka, then the mineral water.  Heat that up for a bit, then add the baking soda.  When the mixture turns black, it's done.  When the mixture turns black?  Yes, when the mixture turns black.

Drink it hot.  I would highly recommend having something nearby to eat immediately after drinking it to stifle the taste.  I like a spoonful of jam or honey, myself.  Bottoms up!

It looks terrifying and tastes terrifying, but Nyquil has nothing on this stuff.  I don't know why, but it really did the trick.  Tanya, who suffered from pretty bad asthma, swears by the stuff.

So there you go, a little Russian homeopathy for the ailing Westerner.  Good night guys!

Пока ребята, Russian Jane